Monday, April 28, 2008

Home again

Another week has passed and we are finally home, at least for a few weeks. This past weekend we went through dad's things and started moving things out of his house. It was way more emotionally difficult than I thought it would be. I had thought I was doing better, that is until we started clearing things out of his house. Then the emotions all flooded back in!

We are back home again and trying to get back to some semblance of a normal life. Time to get back to work and go on living. I keep hearing my dad saying "it's time to move on". I know he wouldn't want me to sit around missing him and crying over him, but somehow that doesn't help much. However, I know that moving on is what I have to do in order to get past my grief. Life does go on and I'm ready to get back to my life now. Sometimes I wish I could just forget that my dad is gone. I know that will never happen.

I'm sure everyone is getting sick of hearing me talk about it. Thank you to everyone who has left me a comment or emailed me with condolences. It really means a lot to know people are thinking about me. I will eventually post more about it but for now it's time to move on.....I know, dad, I know, I should have moved on already!

So much of my work has backed up on me while I've been floating around the past 3 weeks. I am very ready to get back to painting everyday! Plus there is a grand opening of Chroma Studios to get busy planning.

Thanks again to everyone for all their love, support and good wishes the past few weeks. I love you all!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Never the same again

It's been almost two weeks now since my dad passed away. I can still hardly believe it is real. I feel like I've been floating around above my body while it keeps moving around on autopilot.

I always wondered how I would handle the death of one of my parents. I thought it would be unbearable, and while it has been very difficult, somehow I keep on living, breathing, laughing and loving. My dad was right, life goes on. The problem is it will never be the same. I don't know how it could ever be the same. I used to talk to my dad on the phone almost everyday. We never talked long but we always ended with "I love you". I am so thankful that nothing was ever left unsaid.

My brother is a much better writer than I am, I am much better at expressing myself visually, so I will share what he wrote for the Memorial services because he said it all so well. I will eventually paint my emotions to exorcise them, until then..........

I cannot even explain the hole in my soul created by my dad's passing, But I know that anyone who has lost someone close to them, someone that was so instrumental in their development as a person, and a role-model for their existence, knows exactly how I feel. He was so important in my life, and I don't know how I will ever live without him. The emptiness is so painful and I know that it will never go away, but I keep trying to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that he left our world exactly how he wanted to. I feel so lucky because I was so very close with my dad and never left a thing unsaid. I ended every conversation with "I love you," and always knew the extent of his love for me…no question! It is still so unthinkable that he is gone and I will never have another chance to talk to him, or laugh with him, or even cry with him. But I know he is with me and I hold on tight to that thought. Dan "The Man" Manning, my father, lived for every minute, loved everyone he knew with no discrimination, and embraced life like no one I have ever known. And I promise you what he would say right now is… goes on…enjoy it!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

RIP Dad, I love you

Life is way too short! Last Wednesday, one day before his 65th birthday, my dad, Daniel P. Manning, passed away from a heartattack. He will be greatly missed by all who knew him. Most especially by me and my brother. I will post photos and more about his life later this week.

In case anyone who knew him sees this, we will have Memorial services for him on Friday the 18th at noon at Chapin HS in El Paso, Tx. and on Saturday the 19th at 5pm at the Mission Inn Best Western in Las Cruces, NM.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Where does all the time go?

I've been bad about blogging lately. Weeks are flying by, faster and faster, wasn't it just Monday yesterday?

Settling in to the new studio space. All the studios are rented now, for sure. We are having our first artist's meeting this Friday. One of the things I've been trying to decide lately is whether I should start yet another blog to keep the Chroma Studios news separate from my art news. Problem is that I hardly have enough time to keep up with the blogs and websites I have now, do I really need to add another one to keep track of? One of the features I am planning for the studios blog is individual interviews with each artist in the space. I'm thinking weekly, but maybe I'll do them all in 10 days. There are 10 studios here, but a couple of them have more than one person. We actually have 12 people total. Of course I don't need to interview myself.

Spring is finally here in northern NM! It has been so nice going on our daily walks to the river again. We always say we're going to walk thru the winter, but it never happens that way! I am a wimp when it comes to the cold. You would think that 4 years in Northern Colorado would have fixed that, but it actually made me worse!

I can tell it's been awhile since I've blogged because I'm all over the place and don't know what to write next! Oh well. I guess that's all for now, just wanted to put up a new blog so you wouldn't think I'd dropped off the earth! :)