People who know me well may find it hard to believe I could ever be speechless, but it's true, I've had a down month and I tend to shut myself off from the outside world when I'm down. It's been a while since I posted a blog and I figured it was about time.
I've had dad on my mind a lot this month. I think the shock is just wearing off.
It's not getting any easier, in fact, it seems to be getting harder. I've tried to move on and get back to my regular routine, but whenever something reminds me of dad, which is a LOT, I get all choked up and feel the pain all over again.
I like to paint happy, cheerful, colorful images. I like to be a positive person, happy and grateful. It's hard to paint and think like that when I've never felt so sad. I hate to whine, and that is the main reason I haven't blogged recently. I don't want to sound like I'm whining.
People tell me it takes at least a year to get past the grief. I guess I should be kinder to myself. I wonder if I'll ever get past the grief.
I have gone back and forth about posting this blog, too personal and all that, but I needed to get it out.
Above is a progress photo of the painting I'm currently working on. It is a 48 inch square canvas. I still have a ways to go on this one!