I'm having a rough day today. Hard to concentrate on work. I don't really like to write too much about my private life on here, but at this point, I need to get it out!
My 16 year old son is making our families' life hell. We have made the decision to send him back to live with his dad. This decision is based on the fact that his dad seems to have power over him, because when he has lived there in the past, his grades were great! He behaved himself. He did what he needed to do. This is a boy who has never done well living with me. He was diagnosed ADHD at the age of 5. This was a few months after my divorce from his dad. Looking back now, I think he really missed his dad to be totally honest. I hate to admit that! My ex is not a good person as far as I'm concerned. I mean he's much better than when we were together, but it kills me to know that he just has the magic touch with my middle son.
Without getting into all the details, I think he would be better off in the long run. This is really hard for me to admit! I feel like a failure as a parent! Which is also hard, because I know I'm a good parent, but.......and the doubt creeps back in. Being a parent is so damned difficult! I have so much more respect for my parents now. Why is 16 such an awful age??? It was awful for me, my oldest son and now the middle one. I hope the youngest will spare us!
I am trying to work on my latest large canvas right now, having a little luck, but I can't stop thinking about the problems with my son. I love him soooooo much, it's killing me! I guess I should get back to painting, hopefully get into the zone and forget about these problems for a little while! :)