too much to do, too little time

It has been too long since I've posted anything here. Since we came back from Utah and Rigby passed away I have been busy, busy, busy! Plus we are enjoying our last few days before the boys come back from their dad's in Arkansas. We spent Monday thru yesterday up in the mountains at hubby's family cabin. It's always nice to go there and relax. It rained and was no hotter than 70 degrees the whole time we were there. We also visited with some old friends that live in Ruidoso that we haven't seen in way too long.

Summer is winding down. We have received the registration information for the boys and by the 14th of August they will be back in school. I love the summer, but I always look forward to getting my quiet time back during the day. Maybe then I can get back to some kind of routine and do some painting!! I have many paintings swimming around in my head right now. Can't wait to get them out!

This week is also a somber one as a very good friend of mine lost her dad earlier this week. I wish I knew what to do to help her out. I'm not very good at dealing with death.

Anyway, by next week I hope to be back on some kind of schedule and post more regularly here. Until then.........

Arches National Park

Ready to post the photos I took in Arches and Canyonlands. The trip was absolutely amazing, we hiked over 9 miles and I took around 75 photos. I could have taken thousands and it would not have been enough to capture the beauty and size of the rock formations. I would have to recommend going there in person as that is the only way to fully appreciate the experience! I plan to do several paintings of different arches, I can hardly wait to get started! We purposely didn't see all of the arches, that way we HAVE to go back! Besides, after the first 8 miles, my knee started bothering me so we were unable to hike further. It sucks to get old.

I am working on putting together a collage of our greatly missed puppy dog, Rigby Roo. Most of the photos I have of her are on regular film, so I have to scan them all first. I will post it once I get it done.

Below are a couple sample photos from the trip, I will post more later.


Delicate Arch, taken from across the canyon. By the time we came to this arch, I was unable to hike so we viewed it from the opposite cliff.






North and South Arches, the rocks are watching you!

Back home

Back at home late this morning. Had a great trip, inspired beyond belief! I will post more photos on Monday.

Today when we came home we had to deal with burying one of our beloved pets, Eleanor Rigby. She was almost 14 years old and lived a long, good life. My husband had her from puppyhood and I was lucky enough to be her human mom for 11 years. We have been expecting this for about a year now, but that doesn't make it any easier to take. She was part of the family and we will miss her tremendously!

Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings!

Fortunately, it turns out there is wireless internet in the room! Today was an absolutely amazing day! We made a great start with our first stop being Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings in SW Colorado. I have wanted to go here for many many years. My mom told me today that I had been there when I was 8 years old. Don't remember that at all! So, anyway, it was an absolutely stunning place, I took some cool photos, I'm posting a few here and now, I will pick the best later and write more about the trip. Tomorrow we hike in Arches National Park here in Moab, Utah! I can hardly wait...I need to sleep!!

Summer has now taken over!

In case anyone was wondering or cares, summer has taken over and I am having a hard time fighting back anymore! It has been a struggle but I have decided to just let go and relax!

My mom and her husband have invited my husband and I to take a trip with them to Moab, Utah next week. Tuesday, my boys leave to visit their dad and Wednesday we leave for 4 days/3 nights in Moab and then down to Durango and Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings. I have been to Durango before, but never to Moab or Mesa Verde, so I am soooooo excited. I plan to take the camera and laptop, so I will come back with many pictures to share. If the hotel has internet connection I may post some before I come home. I'll have to wait and see.

Anyone who knows me just a little will know that Moab and Mesa Verde are like candy to me, I can hardly wait to see the rock formations and cliff dwellings!

I think the best part is getting away from home for a little while and hopefully I will be inspired to come home and paint, paint, paint!!! I seriously need a change of scenery and some inspiration!

So, depending on the internet situation, it could be a week before I post again. I promise to get into a more regular posting schedule when we return. Until then.........:)

Summertime.......

Just realized it has been over a week since I posted here. We spent the first half of the week at my brother's house in Las Cruces. Aaron and Travis spent time in the recording studio playing around and writing a song. They have been talking about doing that for years. So, while they did that, I took a drive around town, drove out to the mountains and took some photos. I will post some here once I get them downloaded. Update: See below Other than that, I sat around the house and watched tv.

While we were gone, we finally had some much needed rain. Actually, it was more like hail mixed with rain. All the plants have been beaten up pretty bad. Our shed, which is under ground, was flooded with around 8 inches of water. It took Aaron all day yesterday to shop vac it out! The good news is, we really needed the rain! Maybe now they will open up the hiking trails again!

Yesterday was my great aunt's 90th birthday! Day before was my mom's birthday. So, we had the family over for dinner last night. Aaron made peach cobbler for dessert. It was very yummy, too bad there is none left!

So, today, I have to get back to work. I have some orders to get out and I should clean the studio so I can get back to painting. I have been having a very hard time getting motivated.

Oh, and thanks to everyone that has been commenting on my blog, it's nice to know people are reading it!

New Spiral Flower Abstract

This is the newest painting in my Spiral Abstract Series. "Daisy" is a watermixable oil painting on canvas measuring 16 x 20"(inches). The sides are painted so it may be hung as is. The inspiration for this painting is the beautiful Daisies that my husband planted for me in the backyard. I plan to continue this series of floral abstracts indefinately. It may sound sappy, but flowers make me happy!

This painting will be going up for auction Saturday on eBay. I will add a link once the auction starts.

Artists in Times of War

I just finished reading a great short little book by Howard Zinn titled "Artists in Times of War". He talks about how it is the artist's responsibility to speak out against war. Historically artists have been the ones to speak out.

I agree with this wholeheartedly! Problem is, I'm torn between knowing that I have to speak out and do something and being afraid to speak out and do something. In reality, feeling afraid to speak out just makes me angry and makes me want to do even more.

Is this not the greatest country in the world after all? Are we not free to speak our minds? I don't like to write about politics on this blog, mainly because I am a visual person, I am not a writer. I don't really know how to put my feelings and beliefs into words.

I do know that I am tired of all the crap going on in this country and I am tired of all the ignorant Americans who continue to believe we are in this war for good reason. I am tired of the propaganda and the use of the media to distract us from what is really going on.

Why is peace such a difficult concept? Why does greed run this country, this world? Why are so-called Christians(not bashing all Christians here, I know there are good and bad) so gung-ho for war? I mean, isn't 'Thou shalt not kill' one of the ten commandments? I have often wondered how a person can be against abortion but for war? It is murder to kill a fetus, but sending my 18 year old off to die is patriotic?

And my ultimate question.....WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!!!!!

Let there be peace on earth!!! I think it is time for me to pick up where I left off with my peace series! Painting is the only way I know how to contribute my voice and make it heard (or in this case, seen!)

In what ways are you making your voice heard?

photos of ruins available

I just finished putting these two photos up for sale in my etsy.com store. They are 7 x 10" images in an 11 x 14" mat. They are priced right at $9.99 plus $5 shipping. Follow the links beside the photos.


Quarai Ruins


Abo Ruins

Trip to the Salinas Ruins

This last Saturday, the 10th, was mine and Aaron's 9th wedding anniversary. We had hoped to spend the day hiking to the top of the Sandias, but thanks to stupid people and high fire danger the mountain is closed! How can you close an entire mountain?? So, instead of a hike, we took a short drive southeast of Albuquerque to check out the Salinas pueblo ruins.




We visited two different sites, there are 3 total. But, since we have recently visited the third site on Memorial Day, we decided to skip that one this time. These pueblos were occupied up until the 1600s when water was scarce and most of the people moved closer to the Rio Grande river valley and the more modern pueblos. I'm posting some of the photos I took there.



I plan to do some paintings from some of these as well as making prints from some of the photos themselves. I just love visiting these sites, they are so mysterious and beautiful! I always feel a presence when I am there. I am sure there are still many spirits living there. These pueblos did not escape the oppression of the Spanish explorers, as all three of the sites have both Spanish mission churches and Kivas.
It is obvious why they were abandoned, there is no sign of water anywhere and man is it hot! So, check back soon to see the paintings that will inevitably come out of this day trip!

Lazy Days

I am enjoying vacation time. Yesterday was Aaron's birthday, Saturday is our anniversary. 9 years of great memories. We usually take a trip at this time of year, but Nathan had to go to summer school, so we couldn't go anywhere. Maybe later in the summer. I really want to go down to Mexico to meet the Mata Ortiz potters. I sold a bunch of my pottery prints to go into the museum down there and was invited to go down for a visit. I would love to see how the pottery is made and watch the artists paint the wonderful designs. One of my dreams is to learn how to make my own pottery.

I have been doing a little bit of work here and there. I finally cleaned up the studio. We had a huge dust storm a few weeks back and I never did get around to cleaning up after it. Until this week! So, my plans are to get back into the studio and paint! I have one painting started right now, I need to stretch some more canvas before I can do more.

It has been unbelievably hot here recently. I think that is the main reason I'm having trouble wanting to work. Of course, our swamp cooler isn't working right now!

Over all, I have decided that I need the vacation time to recharge. I am catching up on my reading. We went to the library yesterday to pick up more books. I'm reading about Leonardo da Vinci right now. In fact, I think I'll get back to that!

Too long

I know it has been a little while since my last post. Have I mentioned how hard it is to get things done with everyone home from school for the summer? I know, I'm whining. The main reason for this is that I just want to be on vacation too! So after fighting it for over a week now, I've decided to take it easy and have a little vacation time. I will still process any orders that come through and answer my email, but I'm going to give myself a little slack in the work department.

In case you didn't know this (if you know me you should), I am a workaholic. If I'm not working, I'm feeling guilty about not working. Basically, all I ever think about is working. OK, most people would say that I don't really work, because I'm an artist and I do what I love. This is true(that I do what I love), however, being an artist is more than just painting! There is a LOT of business related work to be done in order to make a living as a full time professional artist. People often ask me how I have made it this far, how am I able to work as a full time artist? First off, I have to admit, I have a wonderful husband who supports me AND pays the bills! So, just because I spend my full time as a professional artist, does not mean I make lots of money at it.

What has been most important for me is perserverance AND hard work! I have a business plan that I review yearly. Believe it or not, I actually spend more time on the business side of things than the art side. I have read that it takes 50% of your time on business, but I think that should be raised to at least 70%! If only I could spend ALL my time painting and creating!

So, now that I finally completed my newsletter and sent it out, I'm going to spend the next couple weeks working on art and only art! I will try to get something new posted here soon. Until then, I hope everyone is having a great summer, whether you are on vacation or not! :)

First day of summer break.

I guess I didn't need to complain about everyone being home for summer. The boys are teenagers so of course they were out of here pretty quick to go hang out with their friends.

Today I have been working on getting my website updated and also finishing up my latest newsletter. I have been working on it for far too long. I just want to make sure it's good.

At the beginning of May I started selling on a new website Etsy.com
It is a cool site that only allows handmade items. So, unlike ebay, I'm not in competition with a bunch of mass produced prints and such. There are some really great handmade things on Etsy, great place to go for gifts or for yourself.

I have also been surfing on blog explosion a lot, working on getting more traffic to my blog. I have found some cool new blogs to read and hope to get the links added here soon.

This morning I spent some time cleaning the studio up. The dust has been blowing incessantly and I have to clean more often so I can work! I wish there were some way to have a totally dust free home! You would think I would be used to it after living in the desert most of my life!

This pottery watercolor is my most recent painting. The design is completely my own. I have wanted to do a series of pots using my own designs for many years. Only recently do I have the confidence to actually go through with it! I plan to do a complete series of these pots. If you are interested in buying this painting, click HERE.

What European city do I belong in?

This is a quiz I took, kinda fun.

You Belong in Barcelona

When it comes to Europe, you don't want to decide between culture and fun. You want art by day and a big party by night. Barcelona is ideal for you. You can check out some Picasso, eat some tapas, take a siesta, and then dance all night!

What European City Do You Belong In?

Summer Break almost here

The newsletter is still in the process, should have it done by tomorrow for sure.

I'm somewhat in a panic mode, trying to get as much done as I can before summer break gets here. Don't get me wrong, I love summer. The problem is, summer means my boys and husband will be home everyday, all day! Not that this is a bad thing, but it means I will be easily distracted and it gets even more difficult to get anything done. Not to mention it is really hard to work when it is so beautiful outside!

I think I may spend some time this summer painting en plein aire (sp?). For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it basically is painting outside on site instead of in the studio. I haven't been out of the studio to paint in way too long!

I hope to have some new paintings posted here by tomorrow. That is, if I can get into the studio to paint! Enough said, I'm off to paint!

newsletter coming back

I just realized it's been over a week since I wrote here. I am busily putting together my first newsletter in over three years. Anyone who has been on my mailing list for that long may remember that once upon a time I sent out a print newsletter every three months. I couldn't tell you now what caused me to stop. I'm sure there was a valid reason years ago, but now, time has just gotten away from me and it has been way too long. I am still trying to decide how to send the newsletter. Most probably it will go out by email now. So, I hope that by this time next week I will have it complete and ready to send out.

I had an ok Mother's day yesterday. My two youngest sons wished me a happy mother's day and even gave me hugs!!! (gasp! hugs from teenage boys!!!) My wish for mother's day was to go on an all day hike in the Sandias, but alas it was not to be! The hiking trails were all closed because of high fire danger! I just want to hike, not start a forest fire. Oh well, it has been raining a little today, so with any luck the trails will be open again soon. We are so far behind in rainfall this year it is a little scary. Anyway, so after the failed hike attempt, we went by my mom's house and wished her a happy day, I gave her my "Two hearts are One" painting. She seemed to like it. Tonight, my oldest son and his girlfriend are taking me out to dinner for Mom's day. He had to work yesterday so it had to be pushed back a day.

So, I guess I'd better get busy with that newsletter! I will put all the art news in the newsletter, so I hate to repeat things here that will be in the newsletter.

Happy Monday!!

Painting Frenzy!

I’ve spent the past couple of days in my studio, it’s been a painting frenzy! I love it when painting comes this easily. It doesn’t always flow like this, so I’ve learned to take advantage when it happens. I finished two paintings and started two more! See the finished paintings below. The first one is a continuation of the rock series, ‘City of the Rocks II’ and the second one is a new spiral abstract, ‘Red Sunflower II’.

Both of these paintings will be up for auction starting this weekend. I will add links once the auctions begin.

City of the Rocks II,
watercolor, 14 x 21 inches
Auction













Red Sunflower II,
oils, 20 x 20 inches
Auction

One down, two to go!

Yesterday my oldest son moved out of our house, for the second time. He is 20 now so it's good that he is on his own. Hopefully this time he can keep up with his bills so he won't have to move back again. Yesterday was quite a day. Bryan was supposed to have packed everything on Sunday, actually, he had 2 weeks to get packed! So, yesterday I had to help him pack AND help him move everything because Aaron and his brothers were at school. In the middle of the day I get a call from my youngest son's school. Nate was caught smoking with some friends so I had to go pick him up because he's been suspended for 3 days! Anyway, to make a long story short, I was ready to go off by the end of the day! Actually, I did go off! The good news is that Aaron came home from school around that time and he helped Bryan finish up while I went to a friend's house and chilled out.

Needless to say, I didn't get any work done yesterday! One of these days I hope to get a little time to myself so I can finish a painting that has been sitting on my drawing table for over a week. My goal when I moved the studio back to the house was to paint daily. That still isn't happening, but I'm getting closer. The new fad with artists online these days is the painting a day blogs. I like the idea, but I don't know if I will ever get there. I won't give up trying though!

Maybe next week!

Today is my day to take my great Aunt for an outing. I just love spending time with her. She's so feisty and full of life, it's hard to believe she's almost 90 at times! It makes me happy to take her on outings, because it makes her so happy. She says I'm good to her, how can I not be? It makes me feel good to make her happy.

So, tomorrow I will get back to work. Today should be a great day!

busy, busy, busy!

Sorry about the gap in postings. I am trying to keep my posting to at least two per week. Not always as easy as it seems. I'm up to my neck in office/computer work this week. Trying to get caught up with website updates and eBay store listings. The whole idea of doing it all myself is getting really old! The problem is, as always, having the money to pay someone else to do things for me. I guess until I win the lottery or some such thing, I'm on my own! So, please forgive me if my updates aren't as often as they should be, and my new paintings don't come pouring off the drawing table as much as I would like. I'm a one woman operation here! (Don't even get me started on the fact that I'm trying to work around 2 teenagers who seem to think I am here to be at their beck and call 24/7!)

Up until last week, I was having a very difficult time keeping track of all the tasks I have to do. Until last week, I was struggling to remember what, when, where, etc, etc. So, I spent a majority of last week, cleaning, organizing and making lists. Now I believe I can hold my head above the water and actually feel like I'm making progress. If only I can keep it this way! I still have a ways to go to be totally caught up. Of course, by the time I do get caught up, it will be time for another website update, etc, etc.

Am I whining? I apologize. I truly love my job! (This is where most of my family members say, "You got a job??!!") Perhaps that is part of my problem, I look at my art as a job now. Seriously, I believe it has to be treated as a job or all I would ever do is paint! Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I still have to make a living too. However, when I start getting people signing my guestbook and saying I need to update my site, it's seriously time to get down to business! So, on that note, I'd better get busy!

New Rock Painting

Finished a new painting in my rock series yesterday. This one is called City of the Rocks I. In this painting I decided to try merging my abstract style with my representational rocks. I am happy with the outcome, so I have already started #2. I have missed working on the rock series, so I decided to revisit it. I believe the rocks will become a permanent category of work for me.

Art Story: 1996

This was a year of new beginnings. Most of the year I walked around in a daze feeling like I was living in a dream. I had never been so happy in my adult life. I had found my soul mate in Aaron. Every morning when I awoke I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Just about every night I had nightmares about my first marriage.

My art business, on the other hand, was in complete shambles. I continued painting, completing La Cueva, Montezuma and Rebirth by May. My step dad held on to all of my artwork; prints and originals, mat cutters and other equipment. Rather than let it get me down, I decided to start over, what else could I do? There really was no choice.

Aaron had already decided prior to our moving in with him that he wanted to leave Las Cruces. He was looking for a University that had a better music program than NMSU. After all the terrible things that had happened to me there in Las Cruces, I decided that the boys and I would follow Aaron wherever he decided to go. We decided on Fort Collins, Colorado because of the Guitar professor and started to plan our escape from southern New Mexico.

So, after Aaron finished the spring semester at NMSU, we packed our things into a moving truck. June 10, 1996 we left for Colorado. We planned to put our things into a storage unit and camp at a KOA while we searched for a place to rent. Unfortunately, Fort Collins was a very popular destination and we had a difficult time finding a place. With a dog and three kids, no one wanted to rent to us. After three weeks of searching with no luck, we were extremely discouraged. Aaron and I both had jobs, but still, no one would rent to us. I found a job right away at a frame shop that had bought prints from me the summer before. Aaron found work as the music guy at the local pawn shop.

We finally decided to return to New Mexico and even reserved a moving truck to take us back the following day. Talking to the owner of the KOA about our situation, we found out he had a 2 bedroom duplex for rent. He said we could move in right away! Apparently, we were meant to be there! We moved in and lived out the rest of 1996 with no problems. While the 2 bedrooms made for very cramped quarters with the three boys sharing one room, we were happy just to be there and be together!

Read previous years by following these links;

1995; Second half

1995; First half

1994

1993

1992

1991

At the Library

I'm taking somewhat of a field trip today. I needed to take a trip to the library anyway to pick up and drop off books. So, I decided to bring along the laptop and make a day of it. With my middle son home this week(I'd rather not talk about why), I needed to get away from the house for some good old peace and quiet. What better place than the library right? Wrong! The trip downtown was ok, I rode the city Rapid Ride bus to get down here, enjoying the beautiful weather and the walk through downtown. The first place I chose to sit in the library, there's a homeless guy sitting behind me, quiet at first, then he starts to hum! So I wait for a little while thinking maybe he'll stop. He didn't! So now I'm on the other side of the building. It's better here.

I think what I really need is some time to myself in a far away, secluded location. Preferably in the mountains with a running brook and chirping birds! If only! I guess I can go there in my mind if nothing else!

I'm currently working on my next painting in the rock series. It is a scene of rocks from a great little New Mexico state park called "City of Rocks". I wrote about our visit in my last post. I have decided to mix my landscapes with my abstracts and incorporate some of the line designs into the rocks. I'm excited about the direction my art is heading. Although I must admit I'm a little apprehensive about the change. I want people to like it, but more and more I know it should not matter. What does matter however, is that my art is continuing to grow and will never be boring or stagnant. I would rather stop creating all together than to keep painting the same thing over and over again. I seriously don't understand how some artists do that. My problem with that is there are so many things out there to paint, why get stuck doing the same thing all the time?

Home again!

Well, it's now official, I'm working from my home studio again. Only now, it's a new studio! My wonderful husband built our back porch into a new sunroom for me. These photos are taken before the sun hits it. Also, I have only moved in some furniture. I will post more photos once I get everything in and set up. That's the goal for today. I can hardly wait to get back to painting.

It's been over a week since I worked on anything. I have some new rock reference photos from the City of Rocks in southern New Mexico. City of Rocks is a very cool state park near Deming. Aaron and I visited there last week while Aaron was on spring break. My family used to camp there when I was a kid and it had been over 20 years since I had seen it. Isn't it funny how things look so much smaller when you go back to a place you haven't been since childhood?! The rocks are still as awesome as I remember them, only smaller!

I am also currently working on continuing my Art Story. It should flow a little easier now that I'm through the hard part. Until then, I'm off to work!

Working at home again

I've now officially given up the retail shop experiment. Last week my husband enclosed our back patio for my new home studio. I will post photos once I get moved in and set up.


This past Saturday was the first gallery opening I've had in over a year! I have a few pieces in a small works group show at Third Moon Gallery in Corrales, NM. The photos posted here are from the opening. If you are in the area, please go check out the Third Moon Gallery. It's a wonderful space in Corrales, for those who don't know, Corrales is just north of Albuquerque, in the Rio Grande Valley. They have some great contemporary art and Carol Klimek, owner/artist, is a lovely lady!

Art Story: 1995; The Second Half!

First of all, thank you to all the people who have emailed me to comment on my Art Story! The response has been wonderful! Now, for all of you on the edge of your seat waiting for the rest of the story.....

While I was finally free from my husband, little did I know the troubles to come.

I lived with my mom and stepdad for a month and a half all the while with my stepdad shadowing my every move. At first, I didn't mind because I was afraid to be alone. Even though I had a restraining order against my ex, he continued to show up at the bar across the street from my shop and tried to call me on a regular basis. After a month or so, it became evident that my stepdad wanted to be more than just protection from the ex. But I will come back to that part of the story in a bit.

About a week or two after I left my husband, I was contacted by a couple in Arizona who claimed that the ex had taken $2,000 from them for a order of prints from another artist. They were threatening legal action against both of us! Apparently, he had taken the money from them not even a week before I left him.

At the time, my stepdad and I were making trips out on the road to visit some of the shops that sold my prints. I wanted to make sure everyone knew that my ex was no longer my sales rep. So on one of our trips we made a stop to visit the people who had contacted me. I let them know that I had no knowledge of their order or for that matter, had nothing to do with the other artist my ex was now representing. They were very nice people and seemed to understand my situation and with my promise to help in any way I could, they said they would drop the charges against me.

While on the road, I came across several other business owners who said the ex owed them money and/or artwork. It seems that as soon as I told my ex I wanted to leave him the year before, he began sabotaging my business by taking orders for my prints and never delivering the orders. In addition to this he had started selling the prints of another artist in place of my prints. After a couple of trips on the road it became very clear that I no longer had a business! I made little to no sales on those trips and soon realized I would have to get a job to support my boys.

My stepdad had been pouring money into my business and helping me get set up with a place to live. He spent close to $20,000 and told me not to worry about paying him back until I got back on my feet. Stupid me, I believed him! When he purchased a mobile home and set it up down the street from his house for me and the boys to live in, I thought he was being kind and generous. That is, until he started giving me "rules" to live by. He hired a nanny to stay with the boys during the day and would pick me up every morning to take me to work. His construction company shop was in the back of the building where my shop was at the time. So, this arrangement seemed convenient enough.

The most important rule was that I was not to date or have a boyfriend. He said it was because I needed time to be alone and figure out what I wanted for my kids and myself. At first, this made a lot of sense, because I had absolutely no intention of rushing into another relationship. In fact, I said many, many times that I would NEVER marry again.(Lesson learned: Never say never!) After a trip or two on the road alone with my stepdad, I was getting a little nervous about all the time he was spending with me while my boys and mom stayed home. Then one day I got a call from my stepsister "warning" me to watch out for her dad because he had sexually molested her as a teenager! She told me not to tell anyone what I had told her. I asked my mom about it to see if it were true and she said "yes, but that's the past and it's over."

Now I was really getting nervous! I started to think about how "supportive, loving and touchy" my stepdad had been towards me since the divorce. He was always there when he thought I could use a hug, etc. The next trip we made, I decided to take my oldest son with us.

Around the time I moved out of my mom and stepdad's house and into my trailer, my brother invited me to go with him, his girlfriend and another mutual friend to El Paso for one of his band's gigs. This mutual friend was none other than Aaron Lewis, a former employee of mine and eventually my second husband! That night after the gig, we went to Denny's and sat and talked for hours. Neither my brother nor Aaron had been told the whole story of my divorce and so that night I told them everything that had happened. Aaron had actually allowed my ex to move in with him after I left him, because he had no other place to go. At that time, I had told Aaron that he had made his choice and I didn't want to talk to him again.

By the time we made the trip to El Paso with my brother, Aaron had kicked my ex out of his home and told him he didn't want anything to do with him. So, at this point, Aaron understood why I had been so angry with him for taking in my ex. Aaron and I began to hang out together on a regular basis after that night. He says it was because my house and shop was the only place he could get away from my ex. We had been friends for many years at this point, as Aaron and my brother were good friends and bandmates in high school. He even worked for me in my business for the last year of my marriage, so he was witness to several of our fights.

For a couple months we were "just friends", we spent a lot of time together, spending time with my kids and going on outings, hiking, and even a camping trip with another friend. Looking back now, we were in total denial! We were best friends and neither of us thought anything else about each other. That is until some friends asked why we were "fighting" our feelings and why didn't we just "do it and get it over with"!! At that point we started to discuss having a deeper relationship and it was still many weeks before it moved past that point.

Meanwhile, my stepdad was reading something more than mere friendship into our relationship. He told me one day at work that I had better cut it off with Aaron or he was going to cut me off from his help. I just shrugged it off and said, whatever! At that point there was still nothing more than friendship going on.

A couple of weeks later, once Aaron and I were "officially" an item, I decided that I would go out to look for a job since my art business was basically dead in the water at that point. I went over to my mom's house that morning to type my resume for my job search. My stepdad came into the house and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was going to look for a job so I could start paying him back for his help.

That was when he totally lost it and started yelling at me to "get the f*** out of his house". I was so blown away, I just stood there. He then proceeded to literally pick me up by the back of my pants and carried me to the door. He literally threw me out! I was in shock and very upset, understandably! Not knowing what to do next, I jumped into the car (I had borrowed Aaron's car that morning) and drove over to my brother's house to tell him what had happened. Unfortunately, I woke him up and so he was less than sympathetic to what was going on. So, I left there and headed to my shop so I could get some of my things out before the stepdad got there. Of course, by the time I got there, he was already there, changing the locks on the door. I pushed my way in and was able to get out with a box of prints before he kicked me out there as well. My next stop was at the University to pick up Aaron before I headed back to the trailer to get the boys(they were there with the nanny).

As expected, by the time I got to the trailer with Aaron, my stepdad was already there changing locks again. I was able to pack some clothes for myself and the boys before he got into it with Aaron and wouldn't let me get any more of my things.

So, there I was, homeless with three young boys, with nowhere to go. At first, I went to the home of a close friend and she said I could stay with her. That didn't last long as she had just found out she was pregnant and there were already four people living in their two bedroom apartment. After a couple of days with her, Aaron was the biggest sweetheart and offered us a place to stay with him. Even then, our relationship was very young and we weren't planning on moving in together.

It was a couple of days before my stepdad showed up with all of my personal belongings and dumped them in the middle of the street in front of Aaron's house. He left clothes, furniture, household items, but nowhere to be found was my art work! He hung onto everything I had in my shop. I guess he thought he could sell everything to make his money back. It would be two long years before I saw any of my art; prints, originals, equipment and supplies.

For many months I was very depressed about losing my business. I had worked years to build it and now it was gone. I had absolutely nothing to show for all my years of hard work! Not only that, but when I tried to talk with my mom about the whole situation, she stuck up for my stepdad and absolutely refused to believe that his ultimate goal was to get me into bed with him. This began a two year period when I didn't speak with my mom and thought she had completely abandoned me.

The good news is this is where the bad part of my story ends. October 21, 1995 was a huge turning point in my life, personally and artistically.

Next up; Love can turn things around and make you happy again! 1996!

Read the other parts of the story:

1995; The first half

1994

1993

1992

1991

Signs of Inner Peace

I'm currently working on the second half of my 1995 Art Story, until it's finished, here is a great post I found by an anonymous writer about the symptoms of inner peace. Very contagious condition, PLEASE PASS IT ON!

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE



Watch for signs of Peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to it and it seems likely that we could find our society experiencing it in epidemic proportions. Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:



1. Tendency to think and act spontaneously, rather than from fear.

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

3. Loss of interest in judging other people.

4. Loss of interest in judging self.

5. Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

6. Loss of interest in conflict.

7. Loss of ability to worry (a very serious symptom).

8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature.

10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes and from the heart.

11. Increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

12. Increasing susceptibility to Love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.



If you have all or even most of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition may be too far advanced to turn back. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting several of these symptoms, remain exposed at your own risk. This condition of Inner Peace is likely will into its infectious stage.

wiped out!

I have been wiped out the past couple of weeks with illness. It started last week with an allergy attack for 3 days, started feeling better on Friday and we made a trip down to Las Cruces and El Paso to visit my dad, brother and sister-in-law. We came home on Sunday and woke up Monday morning to an awful, nasty stomach flu. Aaron and I both were hit with it and today I'm still feeling pretty weak. I'm going stir crazy however, and decided that I'm working today no matter what. I'm still not going down to the shop though, I would hate to pass this nasty sickness on to anyone!

Monday was also my oldest son, Bryan's 20th birthday! Man do I feel old, even though I know I'm not THAT old! It still seems odd to think that it's been 20 years since my adventure in adulthood began! I do have to say how proud I am of him though, going to college, working full time. He's just a good kid! OOPS, he's a good adult! I guess he'll always be a kid to me.

I had hoped to get several new paintings posted last week, illness got in my way, so it will have to wait until I get caught up with everything. So, by next week I plan to have new original listings up on Ebay and here on the blog.

Stay tuned in for more!

I have been very busy lately, as you can see. There are many more new images to come. I still need to finish one and download photos of other new pieces.

I have come to realize that I am knee deep in a transition phase of my art. I no longer have much urge to paint anything realistic. I hope I don't lose collectors with this transition. Although I know I will gain new ones. I hope everyone will understand that this is the progression of an artist's life. I have to admit I am a little afraid to go through with it. It is easier to stay in my old rut. The problem is that I have no control over what comes out when I sit down to paint. I cannot hold back any longer. I need to paint what is inside me. Don't ask me to explain this new work, I haven't figured it out yet. I will continue to post more as I discover what drives this new direction. I do know this much, all my life I have struggled with "what" to paint. I have drawn and painted what other people have suggested, what interests me, and all of the traditional subjects of artists throughout the ages. Has this really been me? At different periods of my life, I suppose it was me in that moment. So this is me at THIS moment. What I find a little ironic is that I started out thinking abstract was stupid (I was the young, stupid one) and now I believe that abstract art is the absolute essence of an artist's soul. I guess it's not necessarily ironic just the ignorance of youth replaced with the experience of an older artist.

Feeling much better today

It is the beginning of a new week and I'm feeling much more optimistic about life in general. Went for a walk yesterday with Aaron. It was finally a nice enough day to enjoy a walk down to the river. It has been way too long. I needed the fresh air and sunshine more than I realized. I HATE winter! I cannot wait for spring to get here.

I may continue the 1995 story later today. Until then, enjoy your day!

Putting off work again

Today is just a bad day. The weather outside is cold and cloudy, not that it matters since I'm sitting inside the shop and there are no windows in here. Maybe I'm just having a pity party. Either way, I cannot wait for spring to get here. I have been cold for months and I cannot get warm no matter what I do. I know, it's not that cold in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It's all relative, isn't it?

Having a hard time making myself work. Don't feel like it at all. I guess I'm getting tired of working every weekend. I don't know how much longer the retail experiment will last. It's hard to be "on" all the time. Besides, I've always been a recluse. Even I have to get out and about every once in awhile.

I should be finishing up my art story.....but that seems too much like work right now. There are always a million and one things to do, but it's been one of those weeks when nothing seems to be going right and I just feel down in the dumps.

At least my shop partners have their laptop down here so I can play the avoidance game and kill time. Not much to say, guess I'd better get back to work. Darn....why do I always have to be so responsible????!!!

What I really need right now is some encouragement....anyone out there? Do a girl a favor and leave me a positive comment so I can break out of this funk! I know, I'm leaving myself wide open with that request....should be fun!!!

Art Story: 1995; The First Half!

OK, so I've decided to just dive into 1995! Once you read this part of the story, I hope you will understand why it's taken me so long to write it! I'm going to take it a little at a time. Small chunks, right? So, here is the first half of the year;

1995;
This year started off good for my art business, or at least that was my impression at the time. In February, I moved the shop location again. This time into a store front building owned by my stepdad. The plan was to open a store front and also offer custom framing services. The business name stayed the same; Paula Beck Prints. My hope was that the frame shop would bring in enough business that my husband wouldn't have to travel the road anymore for sales. This was my last ditch effort to save my family. I knew it wouldn't last if he continued to go out on the road. Deep down I also knew he would never give it up. He was having way too much fun staying in hotels, eating in restaurants and being AWAY from me and the kids.

I didn't complete much artwork during the first half of 1995. Four more pottery drawings were all I finished during this time. The two Mata Ortiz (Casas Grandes) drawings, a Mimbres pottery design and a Chaco pottery mug in the black on white style.

Most of my time was spent painting the walls of my new shop. I painted a southwest border design all around the top of the store and on all my wall mounted print bins that surrounded the perimeter of the store. I was also busy supervising two employees who cut mats and put together all the prints for sale.

March 17th was the day I made a final decision to leave my husband. He had been on the road as usual, so I made plans to go out with a girlfriend for St. Patrick's day. I guess he didn't like that idea because he came home that evening and found me dancing with my group of girlfriends at a local club. For some reason he thought I was flirting with a guy (projection of his own guilt perhaps?) and started a huge fight that lasted until the next morning. He broke my nose with his elbow while we were driving home and I decided then that this would be the last time I would take his abuse!
My biggest problem was feeling like there was nothing I could do. How would I possibly be able to support three boys by myself? I knew that if I left I would never get any help from him, court ordered or otherwise. After trying to come up with a plan for my escape for over a month, I finally broke down and asked my mom for help. I knew he wouldn't let me leave easily so it took some planning ahead of time. I had told him that I wanted to leave before and he had taken my car keys and money from me, forcefully of course. I knew I would have to leave while he was gone on the road. This also meant I had to pretend like everything was great so he wouldn't leave me stranded with no money or car. It had gotten to the point where I had to have one of my employees come pick me up if I wanted to go to the shop while he was out of town.
So, finally on June 7th, my stepdad came over to the house with a couple of his workers and helped me move all my things out of the house. My husband had left on the road the night before. We ended up in a fight before he left and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told him that I was planning to leave him the next day and there was nothing he could do to change that. He played the hurt husband, crying and threatening to kill himself. Finally, he said he would disappear and the boys would never see him again and then left. I could only hope to never see him again, but I knew that was just an empty threat. Anyway, I moved all of my things out and into storage. I then moved with my three boys into my mom and stepdad home. I was so greatful for the help it didn't even occur to me that there would be strings attached for their help......

So, this is the first part of 1995, I will try to continue with the story tomorrow. If you think this was the hard part of the year.....this was only the beginning of my trials and tribulations in 1995. Check back to read the continuation!

Read the previous years of my art story:

1994

1993

1992

1991

Next up: 1995; The Second Half

Not enough time!

Man, am I busy! I shouldn't complain, I know, but I don't know how I can possibly get everything done! January is over and I haven't completed half the things I wanted to do.
I'm beginning to wonder if maybe my expectations are too high?! Possibly I have too much on my plate? I have always had a hard time saying no. In my perfectionist mind however, I should be able to do it all! Why not? Because I'm only human for crying out loud! So, my goal for today...after getting orders shipped and going to the shop....is to prioritize my mile long list of things to do. I'm feeling a little unorganized and I KNOW this is my biggest problem.

Any suggestions?????

The worst and best year of my life

So today I'm trying to psych myself out to work on the next year in my story. 1995 was definitely the worst AND best year of my life. It was a year of major transitions. I've always said I feel like I went through two divorces that year. When you read the story, you'll understand what I mean by that. I think what I may have to do is split the story of 1995 into two sections, the bad and the good. It was bad up to about September/October and good for October through December with a little overlap in the middle of it all.
Reliving my past has been difficult, but it has set me free as well. I finally feel detached from that part of my life. Once I get past 1995, the story should flow. Of course I had good and bad times since '95, but my life was basically stable after that point. Although I was 25 years old in 1995, I see that year as the turning point from childhood to adulthood. I sometimes think I was in some sort of limbo from the ages of 16-25. I was on my own, married with children, but I had no clue what that meant for me. I was merely sleepwalking through my life and now it all seems like a very bad dream. For years after my divorce, I felt like I was in a beautiful dream that I would awake from at any moment. I had nightmares for several years reliving my old life. I would have to pinch myself regularly to make sure my waking life was real. I still feel that happiness in my life everyday, but now it's more real to me and the nightmares are much less frequent. I still haven't come to a point of forgiving the people who have done me wrong in the past. Actually, I shouldn't say that, I have forgiven some of them, including myself.

So, anyway, I apologize for taking so long to get this story out. I thought when I began that it would be easy, boy was I way off!

Art Story: 1994

1994 was a better year, probably the best one I had as an artist to this point. Of course, I found out after my divorce in 1995, that it was only good on the surface.

I had a workshop for my art for most of this year. Starting out in a storage unit in the heat of the summer, we had a portable swamp cooler that we had to haul water to in order to keep cool. If you have never been to Las Cruces in the summer I have to tell you, this is a feat within itself. I believe the record high set that year was 117 degrees Fahrenheit! If I remember correctly, we stayed there only a couple of months.

We then moved the shop into an office building where we shared a space with my brother's heavy metal band! This was also the year we had to hire help to keep up with the demand for my prints. At this point, there were close to 300 shops across the southwest selling my art. My brother started out working for us, but he quickly left for a better paying job and referred his friend, Aaron Lewis, to work for us. I had known Aaron for many years, so we hired him. Later, we hired a couple of other people, all artists, to help with cutting mats and putting prints together.

The shared space in the office building only lasted around a month. I came in one day and found a beer can sitting on my side of the curtain next to some prints and came unglued! I should have known it wouldn't work to share a space with a band, and most importantly, my brother's band (New Mexican Erection). My brother and I ended up in a literal fight because of it and we moved out and into another office building. We stayed there until 1995.

It was about this time that I received a call from one of the store owners who sold my prints in Arizona. It seems that my husband had come on to their daughter and they thought I should know that he was possibly cheating on me while on the road. Of course I confronted him with this accusation and he gave me some lame story about the daughter coming on to him, not the other way around. Needless to say, this is when I seriously started thinking about how I was going to escape.

In November, we finally moved out of the small, isolated little mobile home, into a larger, nicer mobile home that was only 5 miles out of town. At the time, I felt like we had finally made it. I had spent the past 3 years living in a crappy trailer with the air conditioner falling in through the roof. This place even had a washer/dryer hook up! This was the ultimate luxury for me at the time. I was so tired of taking my 15 loads of wash to the Laundromat every week! I know, I sound like I was white trash! My ultimate dream was always to have a house that didn't have wheels underneath it! Even at the time, I knew that would never happen as long as I was married to this guy. His idea of the ultimate home was a double wide trailer on a piece of land. Isn't there a country song about that?

This was also the year that I started working with watercolors. It had been years since I had pulled out the paints and once I started, I was hooked again. I completed all my watercolor pottery paintings in this year. Acoma Jar and Bowl, San Ildefonso Jar and Bowl, Zia Bowl and Zuni Bowl. It was these prints that really made the business take off. These pottery prints are still my most popular to this day. I expect them to be completely sold out by March!

Next up is 1995, probably my toughest year ever; divorce, kicked out on the street, destitute and a sabotaged art career. However, it was also the year I found my soulmate and lived happily ever after!

Jump to previous years:

1991, 1992, 1993

Next up: 1995; The First Half

Art Story: 1993

Sorry about the long wait, but finally, here is the 1993 part of my art story.

Back home in New Mexico for almost half a year by this time. I spent time drawing whenever I could. My husband quit his job by February and was back on the road selling my prints. We rented a shop space for a couple months but had to give it up because we couldn't afford the rent.

1993 saw the addition of several more drawings. 'Buying Too Choos', 'Collecting Cow Chips', 'Zuni Governor', 'Zuni Woman', 'Eagle Dancers', 'Apache Man', 'Apache Woman', 'Scout', and 'Kiowa Boy' were all done in this year.

I spent the majority of the year at home with my boys. I watched A LOT of TV and tried to lose the weight gained during my third pregnancy. We stayed in the small trailer that we had moved into upon our return to N.M. When my husband was gone on the road, we were basically stranded at home since we lived so far out of town. This made me feel very isolated, which was my husband's goal. He was determined to keep me locked away from the world. Occasionally, he would take me along on road trips to meet shop owners. I had the feeling they didn't believe I even existed. He even had me convinced that I could never sell my art if it wasn't for him. Of course he never gave me any information about where sales occurred or how much he really made. I was already very shy and self conscious being overweight. Unfortunately, I believed he was right about my sales ability. Even if I could sell my art, how was I going to go out on the road and leave the kids behind? I fantasized about leaving him but didn't think there was any way I could pull it off. With three young children to support it was nearly impossible in my mind. We fought with more frequency, over many things, but most often the fights were about him staying home and being part of our family. I wanted him to get a steady job with a secure paycheck. It was like he had hijacked MY dream of being an artist and had no dreams of his own. We used to argue over who's idea it was to start the art business in the first place! This had been my dream long before I met him!

At this point, freedom from the oppression of my husband was just a fantasy. I continued to draw subjects "suggested" by my husband, because "they would sell". We struggled to make ends meet while he continued to travel around the southwest, living in hotels and eating in restaurants. Meanwhile, back home, the boys and I lived on bean burritos and ramen noodles and whatever they gave us at the food bank.

To read previous years of my Art Story, follow these links;
1991, and 1992

Next up, 1994.

Happy New Year!

Another New Year has come and gone and here I sit more ready than ever to get back to work. I know I mentioned getting in here during my break to finish up my art story, but I convinced myself that taking time off would do me good. Boy, was I right! It was not easy to do, being a work-aholic, but I am so glad I did! I feel refreshed and rested and ready to take on the year.

I will continue my art story this week, but my first order of business is to get my office cleaned up and files reorganized. Tomorrow I go back to the shop and back to creating; painting, etc.

I will also put up listings on Ebay this week for a clearance sale of all the Paula Beck prints. One of my goals for this year is to get past the past and sell off the remaining Beck prints. My art story is part of this goal, as I need to get the story out of my head. So from now on, when someone asks questions about it, I can direct them to my blog instead of having to tell the whole story over and over again. While I realize that it is interesting to others, to me it is the past and at times it was a very painful past. What I need is to put it behind me so I can move on with the future.

I will return soon to complete the story, until then, Happy New Year!

Christmas Eve

The busy Christmas season is almost over. I had my last day at the shop yesterday. We are closing the shop from 12/24 - 1/4 so we can finally enjoy some time off and relax a little. We also plan to do some remodeling during that time. I have even put my Ebay store on vacation settings. After all the hustle and bustle, today is house cleaning day! We have been so busy, we still don't have the house back together after Bryan's move back and the subsequent rearranging of the entire house that followed! Today is the day to reclaim the house!

I had hoped to get Christmas cards out by now, but since I never did have the time, I've decided to send out Happy New Year cards. We still have to take our annual family photo in front of the fireplace, probably today. This will be the first year in a couple that all three boys will be together for Christmas at our house! THAT makes me very happy, doesn't even matter what else happens, only that they will all be here!

My brother and his wife are coming up on Monday for the day. It will be good to see them. We won't see my dad this year until after New Years, he is going back east for Christmas. Better him than me, too much snow back there! We are supposed to have a 60 degree day on Christmas!

I guess that's it for now, I hope to write more later in my vacation. Perhaps I'll continue on with my art story. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!

Happy Holidays!

It's that time of year again! There never seems to be enough time to get everything done. I like to complain about time or the shortage of it I've noticed! I wish I could clone myself! Then someone else could perform all the daily mundane tasks that I hate so much. We did finally get our Christmas tree up last week, but I still have to wrap the presents to put under it. Then there are the dishes and housecleaning that keeps piling up on me.

Fortunately, I did finally get some painting time in this week, may even finish a painting by the end of today. I am revisiting the rock landscape series. It has been too long since I worked on them. I love my rocks! People must think I'm nuts! I have my grandmother to thank for the love of rocks. She started me collecting them when I was only 5 or 6 years old.

In other news, my eldest son is moving back in with us! I must admit I am much happier about this than I first thought I might be. He is 19, almost 20 and he spent the last 5 months in his own apartment doing quite well if I say so myself! Until last week when he lost his job. He's going back to school in January, so he's coming home! It was 3 years to the day that he left to live with his dad in Arkansas! It is nice this time though, because he has done A LOT of growing up since then. Another plus, he's already found a new job.

So it's shaping up to be a great Christmas with all three of my boys being here with us! In case I don't get back here before then, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!

Like I said before....slippin', slippin', slippin'.....

Another week has slipped by and I have been swamped with Ebay orders. My continuing art story is being postponed until I can get caught up with everything. Of course, wouldn't you know it...as soon as I get slammed with Ebay orders....We are supposed to be moving into the new shop space and getting it set up. So, this morning after getting more orders out.....it's back to the shop to get more things moved in and then set up!

What a week it's been! I think it seems more overwhelming because I just had a wonderful, relaxing four day weekend. Thinking I had all the time in the world to get into the shop, until WHAM!, Monday morning I wake up to more work than I expected.

I guess I shouldn't complain, this is a great thing! In fact, just a week ago I was complaining about how slow business was. I guess that's what I get for complaining! The universe has a way have getting back at me for my negative energy. I need to stay positive!

Actually, I'm very happy as I sit here typing this morning. I'm VERY CLOSE to meeting my sales goal for the year....all in all, it has been an awesome year! I have to take this opportunity to thank all of the wonderful people who have supported my artwork this year and made my dream a reality! This was my first year, actually half year, to make a living from my art since 1995! I was able to finally quit the part-time job and devote all of my time to painting and business. I will write more about this awesome goal in the continuation of my art story. Basically, I have finally proved wrong the naysayers from my past....people who told me that I could never do it myself! These people tried to tell me that without them I could never sell my art! Well.....I have now proved you wrong! I can do anything I put my mind to. That feels soooooo good! Great, in fact! I guess I had better get back to work!

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'..........

It's already Thanksgiving week! I cannot believe how fast time is flying by! Last week was a good one. Together with another artist friend, we put down a deposit on a retail space to sell our art and other creations. So if you are in Albuquerque after December 1st, come visit us at our 'Collectors Corner' in the "Las Tienditas or Little Shops on the Rio Grande". This is a cool little shopping mall on Rio Grande Rd. just north of Old Town Albuquerque at the intersection of Indian School Rd. and Rio Grande. We have been talking about this venture for some time and finally found the perfect spot! Not only is it already an established business location, but it is in a great location. Anyway, come do your Christmas shopping, or just stop by and check it out.

This is a short week for the guys in my life, looking forward to seeing my family this weekend. My dad, brother and his wife are coming up to visit. I love this time of year! The best part about this year is, my boys are all here with me this year! Anyway, lots of work to get done in half the time this week, so I'd better get to it!

Back in a Gallery

I just dropped six of my latest paintings off at the Third Moon Gallery in Corrales, New Mexico. It has been a couple of years since I have shown any of my work in a gallery, so I'm very excited about it. Third Moon Gallery is a wonderful place...old adobe house, quintessential New Mexico gallery. I will post the new paintings here, but please visit the gallery if you can to see them in person! Actually, I think I'll just post three of the six here for now. These are oil paintings on canvas, I call these the Spiral Sun Series.

Spiral Sun Series #1
20 inch square
Spiral Sun Series #5
12 inch square
Spiral Sun Series #6
20 inch square

Art Story: 1992

On to 1992!
This was a difficult year in my life that I would rather forget. With that said however, this is something I need to get out so that I can move on to the future! I can easily say that the best thing to happen during this year was the birth of my youngest son Nathan in November.

I'm going to make this a quick rehash, because it was not a year I like to remember!

In a nutshell, (maybe a little longer)
January; evicted from our house with nowhere to go; moved across Tennessee to McMinnville to live in a gutted out mobile home with NO indoor plumbing or anything else for that matter;

February; found out I was pregnant with my third son; terrible morning sickness probably caused by the fact that I had to empty out the porta potty everyday!

March-June; husband continued to stubbornly go out selling my prints rather than getting a job that could actually support us; sales of art barely fed us; luckily the landlord felt sorry for us and didn't charge us any rent for the gutted out mobile home (particle board floors!); finally had running water after husband figured out (after my bugging him for months) that it would only cost $30 for the town to hook up the water line! Talk about living like hillbillys!! This is where I worked on my first series of Native American drawings, I wanted out of this place and figured the only way out was to make some great art! My 'Little Dancer Boy', 'Brave on Horse', 'Mother and Papoose', Woman Dancer', 'Sitting Bull' and 'Bronc' came out of this period. We took a trip in May to New Mexico to sell these prints and blew the engine on the car! He ended up staying with his parents for a month in Las Cruces while it was being fixed! I went back to Tennessee to relieve my brother of babysitting duty and spent the month having to walk into town (about 2 miles) to go to the store and use the phone because we didn't have a phone or a second car! Picture a pregnant woman walking down the side of a rural country road with a 6 year old and a one year old, carrying shopping bags. I could only carry a couple of bags with help from my oldest son because my one year old couldn't walk that far and I had to carry him too! So, we had to go every couple of days.

June; thanks to my husband's wonderful business practices, a man showed up at the trailer from Clarksville, TN to collect money owed by my husband; since we were broke, he took some of my original drawings; sheriff showed up to arrest my husband for a couple of bad checks written for food and gas on the premise that there would be money to cover them; He always did count his chickens before they hatched! So, rather than take care of the problem, we hit the road!

July; It took me a month to convince my husband that we should just give up and go back to New Mexico where we had family to help us out. We lived in the car for that month, renting cheap motel rooms when we had the money, sleeping in rest areas when we didn't. By this time I was 6 months pregnant and hadn't seen a doctor yet! So I finally called my dad to borrow the money to get us across the country to New Mexico and home we went!

August; Finally back in New Mexico, found an old mobile home for rent that we could afford, husband finally found a job! I thought I was in heaven in this 2 bedroom 12' x 50' trailer, after living in the gutted one! This place actually had linoleum and carpet AND indoor plumbing; I didn't care that it was 30 years old! It's amazing what you can live with when you are depressed and beaten down!

September-November; depressed and pregnant I spent most days watching tv; November 6th my beautiful youngest boy, Nathaniel was born; Unfortunately, he had to be kept in ICU for a week because of respiratory problems (probably from lack of prenatal care!) So I spent the week traveling back and forth to the hospital to see/feed him. The funny part of all this was that Nate was born weighing in at 9lbs 10 oz. so he looked like a giant compared to all the little premie babies in ICU! They had a hard time finding an icubator head cover that would fit him!

December; The year ended on an ok note with Christmas being spent with family and friends.

So, in a huge nutshell, that was 1992! whew!

Next up, 1993.

Still working on 1992

I'm still working on 1992, but it has proved to be fairly difficult because it all came flooding back and there was a lot happening! Most of it bad!

Thank God it's all in the past! Thank God that my current husband wants nothing to do with my art business, because he has his own goals and ambitions! Thank God we own our home (not a trailer!) and I don't have to deal with landlords anymore! Thank God I got away from my first husband! Thank God I don't have small children anymore! I'm sure there are many other things I am thankful for......Thank God!

It is good to look back at the past and see where all the lessons were learned....and be happy that I don't ever have to go there again!

I've definitely learned to appreciate all the good in my life now....it wasn't too long ago that there wasn't much good to appreciate!

And how can I forget....Thank God for giving me my art to get me through it all!!

Working on 1992

So, I figured I'd write another blog before I finish the 1992 entry. 1992 was a particularly difficult year to live through, much less rehash!

I suppose it will be good for me to get all my past out of my head and on to the blog, but once I started writing about 1992 I realized that the only good thing about it was the birth of my youngest son, Nathan. Even that wasn't exactly a good thing at the time. I love him to death, but the circumstances surrounding his birth were not good. One other good thing to happen was moving back to New Mexico.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to write my art story! It is impossible at times in the past to separate my personal story from my art story, so it may take longer than originally planned to finish.

Maybe I should just let the past stay in the past! Although, I believe it would shed alot of light on the person I am now to share where I came from and what I've been through. I just didn't expect it to be so hard to do! Time has healed most of my old wounds and life is wonderful now, so I should be able to approach it in a detached manner.

I may just condense the years 1992-1995 into one blog as they were the hardest years of my life. Why relive all that crap? I'll have to think about it a little while.

My Art story: 1991

I have been contemplating my art story for several months, even years! Today, one of the artist blogs that I read regularly talked about the ultimate story. She talked about how, as an artist, YOU are the ultimate story. So, I am finally going to tackle that subject! I've decided to start with the beginning of my art career and write about one year per day. Today is dedicated to 1991!

March 1991 to be exact. But first, a little background. According to my mom, I started drawing as a child, but doesn't everyone draw as a child? My memory of being an artist goes back to 9th grade and my first real art class. From that year on, I took every art class available at my high school. I wanted to major in commercial art in college. However, in my junior year I gave birth to my first son, Bryan, and my life took an unexpected twist. I dropped out of high school in my senior year, because I was married with a baby, my husband joined the army and ended up stationed in Hawaii! That move put a slight hold on my school plans. So,.....back to 1991!

While my bio states that I have always been an artist, March 1991 is when I started seriously considering a career as an artist. I was 21 years old and going to school to become a CAD drafter. My oldest son, Bryan, was 5 years old and my second son, Jeff, was 7 months old. All I really wanted was to be a stay at home mom. As is usually the case, money prevented that from happening. I was working the graveyard shift at the front desk of the Comfort Inn. Most nights I sat and watched TV in the lobby. One night, I sat through an infomercial for Tony Robbins.(I know, pretty funny, huh?) Being the person I am, I thought to myself, I don't need to buy some guy's book to know what I need to do. So that night I decided to start using my dead time at work for drawing. It had been some time since I had worked on my art. Many factors played into this...my husband told me my work sucked for one! Not to mention I had been up to my eyeballs in diapers and baby puke for some time.
The first drawing I did was of a covered bridge in Kentucky near where we lived at the time. I had postcards printed and my husband started selling them to people at his job in a local convenience store. Don't remember how it all came about, but he hooked me up with the local Historical Society and I started doing drawings of all the local historical homes, churches and buildings. I participated in the local historic homes tour, selling matted prints and postcards. Out of that tour came many commissions for local homes and churches. I eventually left my drafting classes to pursue my art (encouraged to do so by my drafting teacher!). After seeing how well my art was selling, my husband decided to quit his job as well. He became my sales rep and changed his view of my work! I also did some drawings of Civil War Generals, which were very popular in the south. I enjoyed more than anything, researching the history of the south and the Antebellum architecture. Beginning in this year, my husband went out on the road to sell my prints to shops in Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama and Georgia. During this time, I spent my days at home with the boys, drawing whenever I could fit it in. At this point all my art was done in pencil. I had worked in watercolor in the past, but still didn't feel confident enough in my abilities.

Next up, 1992!

Another Monday, another month

One more Monday, end of another month! Time flies when you have lots to do.
This is my busy holiday sales month. I hope to have lots of new listings up by the end of the week.

I only have a couple of weeks left to get paintings done for the Third Moon Gallery. I hope to finish the one I'm working on today and start a new one.

Finally done with the open air market for the year. We have our weekends back! yeah!

Not much to blog about today, but my goal is to blog everyday...so there you go!

Peace!

FRIDAY!

Not that it matters, since I have to work thru the weekend as well. Weekends at the outdoor market are fun though. This will be our last weekend out there for this year. The weather keeps getting worse, colder, rainy, etc. Only on Saturday of course!

My cousins from Vermont arrived with their moving truck yesterday. So we spent the afternoon helping them unload the truck. Today I'll be giving a tour of Albuquerque to my cousin who is leaving to go back to Vermont tomorrow. Wish he could stay longer. Oh well.

Not alot to write about today, I have to get some work done before I pick up my cousin at 1:00. Finishing up another spiral abstract painting today,....I hope. I still have alot of detail work to do. I will try to post new paintings by Monday.

Finally figured out how to get the subscription box into my blog! What a pain! So, please sign up to receive email updates whenever I post a new blog!

Until later.......

So I'm middle aged,...who cares!!!!

I think I may have finally recovered from my birthday! LOL! It didn't help things that my dad, brother and oldest son all forgot it! In spite of the fact that I was in a perfectly good mood on my birthday, yesterday was terrible! I was in a crappy mood for most of the day.

I didn't get any painting done, but I did finally manage to get my studio and office clean! I still have filing/organizing to do, but I am pretty proud of myself for cleaning. Not that it was that bad, I'm just way too much of a perfectionist to work like that. In fact, the mess is probably what put me in a bad mood in the first place.

Today has been much more productive, I painted all morning and packed Ebay orders earlier this afternoon.

I am really getting into the new series I'm working on. I have now switched from watercolors to water mixable oils. I can layer the colors better with the oils also the colors are brighter. (Thanks for the suggestion, Carol!) I will post one soon. I have to get several more done by the end of November. I will be showing several paintings in the Third Moon Gallery in Corrales,NM starting then. I hope everyone else loves them as much as I do. I finally feel like I'm painting what is inside of me. I don't know if I can ever go back to what I did before. Of course if these don't sell, I may have to! :( It's hard making a living as an artist, especially when you move on with your art and people want you to keep painting what you did 10 years ago. My problem is I have a hard time sticking to one subject or style. I like to paint what I like, and being that I like a lot of different subjects, it's hard to stay with one thing. Hopefully, my collectors will bear with me. I think this new abstract work is what I've been searching for. MY ART!

Once Aaron and the boys get home however, my work day will be over. My cousin and her family are moving to Albuquerque from Vermont and they arrive today. I promised my aunt that we would help them unload the moving truck. It's pretty wierd having all this family here now. My aunt, great aunt and my cousin's family are all out here now. After growing up out west with all my family back east, I don't quite know how to handle all this family. It should be interesting at the least!

I hope to start blogging more often.....we'll see!

So you say it's your birthday?

Well, it's my birthday too, yeah!

Goodie, Goodie! I have to admit, this is the first year that I'm not very thrilled to be celebrating another birthday. What's to celebrate? I'm another year closer to the grave and I still have so much I want to accomplish with my life. Where have the past 36 years gone? I started seriously working as an artist 15 years ago! I have to remind myself that there was a five year break in there, and it didn't help that my first husband sabotaged my business so I had to start over again 5 years ago. So I guess I should look at the 10 lost years as my training period. I learned ALOT during those 10 years, mostly what NOT to do!

I have to also remind myself that people now look to me for advice on being an artist. There was a time when I had to ask questions of others, now they ask questions of me. My ultimate goal is to be a mentor to young artists just starting out. Mainly because it's hard to find a mentor for myself.

I remember when I was 21 and starting out, I thought 36 was OLD! Now I'm here and I don't FEEL that old. Of course my 89 year old great aunt calls me a spring chicken! Coming from her, I guess that's true. I guess I'm looking forward to what the next 50 years has in store for me. In 5 years I'll be entering another phase of my life..."the empty nest years". I must admit, I'm looking forward to those years! These days I'm very happy that I started having kids when I was too young, because I will still be young when they are grown. Time is just strange.

I may write more later today...I'm still trying to come to terms with my birthday!

Seventh Mountain group

So, last night was the first meeting of the Seventh Mountain artists in over a year. Seventh Mountain is an artist group that I co-founded a couple of years ago. It was one of my projects during the year that all three of my boys were living with their dad in Arkansas. I had to do something to keep myself busy or I would have sunk into a terrible depression. Actually, I did sink into a depression, but the camaraderie of all my artist friends truly helped me through it.

So, once the boys came back, the group just faded away without me to organize and pull everyone together. About a month ago, I went to an opening for one of the members, Ed King, and he asked about the group. "Are you planning to get that going again?" I said I would love to, but I thought, is anyone interested in that actually happening? I sent out an email to gauge interest and found that apparently everyone has just been waiting for me to bring them together. Well, maybe not "waiting", but most old members and a few new ones were excited about getting back together.

Back to the beginning of the blog,....Last night was the first regrouping and it went really well! I was so wound up when we came home that I couldn't sleep and stayed up painting until after 12:30! I cannot even remember the last time I was that motivated to paint! Interestingly enough, during the year that the group was nonexistent, I have had a hard time being motivated. I guess I just needed that connection to the Albuquerque art community. That was the most exciting part of the meeting for me, was all the talk of community and once again discussing the building of a community here in Albuquerque. I guess it's not neccessarily building a community, but bringing together the community that is already here. So maybe now I'm not so anxious to leave town and move off to the mountains to be a hermit! :)

In other news, I finally put up my peace auctions for charity. I have decided that from now on all my peace paintings will have 25% donated to the Peace Corps Fund. I have this dream to join the Peace Corps someday, but until that can actually happen, I will make my contribution with money. Below is a link to the first Peace Corps auction, and it already has a bid!

Charity auction for the Peace Corps Fund

Another busy week

Once again, I have let way too many days go by since my last post. It's hard to decide what to blog about and for some reason I'm afraid to get too personal still. Not sure why....After reading the blogs of a couple of my artist friends, Amy and Chris Schelling, I've decided that I'm just being a wimp! Why not spill my guts here?

So here goes!
The past couple weeks have been crazy around here. I've been trying hard to concentrate on my art work and all the many tasks involved in selling, promoting, etc. During the day, I get plenty of work done, but as soon as 3pm rolls around and the kids and Aaron get home.....forget about it! So, I'm seriously considering moving my studio/office out of the house again. When I moved it back to the house it was because the boys were living with their dad and there was so much extra space, it didn't make sense to pay rent for an outside studio. So now that reasoning doesn't work anymore!
The ultimate dream would be to open an art center with room for other artist's studios, a gallery and a classroom. Don't know if that will happen right away. The hard part is going to be finding a place to rent that we can afford. Hopefully, I can convince an artist friend of mine (JO!)to share a space with me. We've talked about it, but the hard part is getting her to commit to it. The best thing is that Aaron is now interested in getting his own music going again, so he'll need to have a classroom space for private students. So he will be onboard with getting a place.
As with everything I want to do, the biggest issue is money, isn't that always the way?! So.....I'm caught in a catch 22...I know I could make more money if I had an outside studio/shop...but I need money to get the space...but I need the place to make more....etc!
So...if anyone has any suggestions or knows of a place to rent in Albuquerque, NM...please let me know!
Other than that, I've actually made a step towards showing my art in a gallery again. I've shown my new work to 2 different galleries and both said they would be interested in showing my work! Funny, because only a couple weeks ago I was saying I didn't want anything to do with galleries anymore. Of course, it helps that I personally know the owners of both galleries. That made it easier to approach them. I don't know why I have such a hard time with my confidence! Inside I feel like I am meant to be a artist and that someday I WILL be world famous! Why can't I have that attitude on the outside? It was good for me to read Chris' blog for that reason. He's got the outer ego that I need! So I guess I'll just learn from him and try to be more egocentric. Maybe not quite as much as Chris...it's just not my personality...but enough to have confidence in my art.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother writing all this mess. Does anyone even read this??? I guess it would help if I could get an email out to everyone telling them about it! :)